The Blonde Moments !

Q: How does a blond kill a fish? A: She drowns it!
Q: How does a blond kill a bird? A: She throws it off a cliff!
Q: How does a blonde lose five pounds? A: She takes off her make-up.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver? A: She missed the Earth!
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q: Why does a blonde drive a BMW? A: Cuz she can spell it...
Q: How Do You Confuse A Dumd Blond? A: Put Her In A Room Shaped Like A Circle And Say Go Sit In The Corner..
Q: What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? A: Siamese twins
Q: How is a blonde like a a bottle? A: They're both empty from neck up
Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They are born that way.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard too peel.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find the M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading.
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspsense? A: I'll post this answer tomorrow.
Q: Why do blonde wear shoulder pads? A: To keep from bruising their ears.
Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he preforms brain surgery on a blonde? A: "Space. The final frontier....."
Q: What's brown and red and black and blue? A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.
Q: How does the blonde car pool work? A: They all meet at work at 7:45.
Q: How do you know that a fax came from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back!
Q. What does a U.F.O and an intellegent blonde have in common? A. You always hear about them... but you never see them!
Q: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? A: She was trying to make up her mind!
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? A. Who knows? It has never been done!
Q: Why did blonde throw a puppy on a bun & in the microwave? A: She wanted a hotdog.
Q: What did the blonde do when she broke her tuperware? A: Called the plastic surgeon.
Q: What is 500 ft. long and has an IQ of 40? A: A blonde parade!
Q: Why did the blonde smile everytime there was a flash of lightning? A: She though someone was taking her picture.
Q: What's the advantage of marrying a blonde? A: You get to park in the handicapped zone.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up.
Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing? A: She was run over by the zamboni machine.
Q: How do you steal the window seat of a blonde going to Paris? A: Tell her the seats that are going to Paris are all in the middle row.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: RUN LIKE HECK...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125? A: A foursome.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did they stop doing the "Wave" at BYU? A: The blonde were drowning.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks her keys in the car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds? A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a wreck? A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see "20,000 Leagues under the sea? A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.
Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like sleeping.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: She couldn't figure out which one to write first.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? A: A widow.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to hand her the blow dryer.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves" A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: How can you tell when a FAX has been sent by a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want to fax her resume? A: It was her only copy.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why does NASA hire blondes? A: They are doing research on black holes and empty space.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box space? A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon. A2: So that when they are on the bus they can tell if they are coming home or going to work.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
Q: Why do all blondes have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead? A: (Finger on chin) "Duh, I don't know" (hits forehead) "Oh, I get it!"
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A1: Because they don't know any better. A2: They are easier to keep amused.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem.
Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (Goods and Service Tax in Canada) A: Because they can spell it.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The over doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q: Why don't blondes eat jello? A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: What's a lightbulb. A2: One. She holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her. A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaaaddy!"
Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A: The dumb blonde, because there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde.
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground off? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: There have been reported sightings of Bigfoot.
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill."
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? A: An air mattress.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blonde in a BMW? A: Divorcee
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor.
Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound and she weighed 125 lbs.
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? A: The noise gave her a headache.
Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They get lost.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What is the difference between elvis and smart blondes? A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager
Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: A golden retriever.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? A: Ariticial intelligence.
Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, What?
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.

Ohh....you are sick and tired of Blonde Jokes ? Now Read on .......